Although we are celebrating the birth of Christ, I would like to write a little about His “death”. Did Jesus suffer or feel pain when he was crucified? My perception is that, yes, he felt pain until a certain moment but he stopped feeling pain when he accepted God’s will. My conclusions are based on my personal experiences.
The life of Christ is not just dead history on a piece of paper. His story is alive and it also happens within us. I’m saying this because at a certain point in my life I felt the need to fast. Even having to work during those days. I wanted answers to my questions and believed that fasting could open doors to my connection with my soul or with God. I did three days of fasting. But, as I needed to work, I gradually reduced my diet and after a few days I only drank lemon juice and water. On the third day my legs failed. It was hard to stay upright. So I decided to end the fasting because I needed to work and because my son was small at that time.
After a few years I started attending the Catholic church and taking a course to receive confirmation. At the same time I started to feel a strange pain in the palm of my left hand. There was no physical reason to feel that pain so I identified it with the wounds of Christ. But why was I feeling that pain? Today I understand that we feel the pain that Christ felt so that we can understand the sacrifice he made to leave His example of life. And he said: “There are many rooms in my Father’s house, and I am going to prepare a place for you. I would not tell you this if it were not so. And after I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to myself, so that you will be where I am. You know the way that leads to the place where I am going.” Thomas said to him, “Lord, we do not know where you are going; so how can we know the way to get there?” Jesus answered him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life” (John 14:2-6).
Years later, living in a troubled marriage, I was attacked by my husband but at that time I didn’t feel angry with him and it was as if I was observing myself in that situation which seemed somehow funny in the sense that it seemed that I attracted this type of relationship. I was being attacked but I felt no pain. The next day I also felt no pain. The strangest thing is that my husband was injured but I was intact. This event raised several questions in my mind. What did God mean by this? Did God want me to continue in that relationship? Should I learn to live with it? After the end of the fight I was perplexed. I noticed that something had changed in my husband’s feelings. I hadn’t reacted, hadn’t cried. I just said: “stop, stop”. He too was perplexed. Perhaps in a different way than mine. But, there was a healing energy, both for me and for him.
Perhaps this was one of Christ’s lessons, not reacting to an offense or aggression is not a form of cowardice but of conscience. Awareness that the aggressor does not know exactly what he is doing. He has no conscience of right and wrong. But the person who is blessed to see this dynamic understands and pleads with God to forgive him because “They don’t know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34). I am not saying with this that women should always submit to the aggressions of violent husbands. No way. In that same day my husband came to the conclusion that if we continued to fight he would end up killing me.
I took his statement to the professionals who work in the area of family violence and I received due support, thank God. God has supported me. I am grateful for all the experiences lived to date. All of them were important for my growth as a person. You may still doubt whether there is any guarantee that we can evolve as a soul and inhabit new, more advanced realms. I have no doubts. I think we should immediately stop investing in space travel and find ways to alleviate world hunger and thirst. Let’s save the forests and live more integrated with the nature. Let’s find a way to get rid of the concept that we need this body to inhabit new worlds. Death is just the beginning of eternal life.
Merry Christmas and a 2023 full of spiritual achievements!
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